Hey! How're you doing?
As I'm writing this, we're only 4 sleeps away from Christmas eve - my favourite day of the year. By the time you get this, we'll be down to TWO (#dontpanic). I'm doing my best to stay chill AND get alllll the things done -- feeling a perfect 50/50 mix of excitement and I can't wait until this is all friggin over and I'm left to prune up in my bathtub, eating vats of chocolate, and reading in peace. The only things I've been able to focus on for the past 5 days are repetitive gift guides that I'm too late to order from and hilarious (if slightly dark) videos where the parents have had a pretend Grinch show up at their house and steal gifts and trees while the children lose their minds.
Yesterday was the winter solstice and today we welcome a new moon in Capricorn. A magical, auspicious, if very dark, time of the year.
A time to rest and slow down -- meanwhile, back at the funny farm that is my home, I've been out every night and baking until 11pm. Not exactly solstice candles, 100% itchy wool sweaters, and winter hymns, ya know?
Despite copious amounts of joy, I've been bumping up against some darkness and mess in my life -- My kids have been acting like arseholes not been behaving the way I'd like them to. Frustration and angry words have tainted more than one really fun holiday experience - experiences that I've twisted and bent myself into a twice baked rosemary pretzel in order to make happen.... FOR THEM (martyr mode, fully engaged).
Clients are feeling the same -- sick kids, dashed hopes, storms on the way, ruined plans...
When I take stop thinking of the mess as "getting in the way of my life" and start thinking of it as the curriculum of my life I can see that the angry words, resentment, and frustration start when my patience is too thin - when I don't have enough alone time and space. My kids start to act out when they're feeling overwhelmed and over socialized. Resentment and bitterness are the #1 sign that I'm not taking care of myself. Sickness teaches us to slow down and care for ourselves, whether we want to or not.
So that's what I've been doing. Sleeping in when I can, crossing things off the list without doing them, reminding myself that there's no rush. Make no mistake - it's still a very lively and incredibly entertaining shit show over here BUT I'm seeing where the issues really are (ie yelling at the kids won't help), and doing my best to make some space and time for quiet and calm.
What's the mess in your life right now? And when you dig a little deeper - what's the lesson inside of it?
I'd love to offer up some new moon/solstice prompts for you. The first two I'm borrowing from Sarah Jenks, who was on the podcast last week, and the final two are from me...
Start by lighting a candle and maybe putting on some seasonal music (think more A Beautiful Chorus, less Mariah Carey... tho, you do you).
I always find it so hard to remember but there is MEANING in the mess.
Let the mess be a gift.